clarity.

clarity.
noun. sharpness of image or sound. quality of being certain. quality of being clear. 
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i am almost embarrassed to share my story of how I learned to love myself. 

cliche as it sounds, 

it started when my heart was shattered into a billion pieces by someone 

i thought I'd spend the rest of my life with. 

the one person who i revolved my life around 

drained the light and happiness out of me. 

one year + four months.

i was in a committed relationship with someone i saw a future with. 

after all, he was my first everything. 

people always told us they saw that we had a chance because of how happy we looked on social media.

and

my friends, family, and coworkers would say how sweet and humorous of a gentleman he was. 

however, social media + everyone else only saw the side that he wanted them to see. 

and love blinded me to the point where i didn’t realize how toxic of a person he was.  

behind closed doors:

he was demeaning towards me and others around him. 

he believed that he was superior

and used awful words to insult the people he saw “below him”.

he spewed negativity.

and his negative energy was so unhealthy for my soul. 

but still i loved him. 

and i loved him into college.

me being a year older and in a long-distance relationship 

seemed to make things worse.

he became incredibly controlling.

he was negative energy.

he was condescending. 

he was manipulative.

he was so incredibly toxic…

and even though he tried to cover it all up with sweet gestures:

there was always still a great amount of emptiness within me. 

i was never enough for him.

but finally through the breakup,

all the painful truths discovered afterwards,

devastation and heartbreak,

i experienced clarity.

i decided to reach out to those around me.

i reached out to my family and friends. 

one of those friends being andrea. 

my dear andrea torres introduced me to her brand:

purely psithurism.

time and love from the right people

was exactly what i needed to heal my wounded soul. 

my ex took a part of me that i will never get back.

however, i was able to fill that part with 

the greatest love there is:

self love. 

i have never felt so free and alive. 

i love who i am.

i am fucking worth it. 

and now

i am genuinely happy. 

andrea darling, thank you so much. 

you are an incredibly strong individual to share your story and create a movement. what you're doing is phenomenal.

thank you for being there when i was at my lowest and teaching me to value myself. 

self-love is a strong and powerful thing that needs to continue to spread. 

you, me, and every single person out there is a work of art and deserves an infinite amount of love from others and primarily from ourselves. 

i love you and thank you again.

[g.]