adjective. twisted together untidily; matted complicated and confused; chaotic
whatever part of that definition you want to use could describe my thoughts accurately.
being a Virgo, over analyzing is an every day occurence.
& that's okay.
i firmly believe that my blogs not only soothe my soul & messy mind, but could help somebody else also.
& that's important to me.
so please excuse these unorganized strings of words and tangled thoughts.
• as you guys have read from my latest post, i was forced to go through this huge challenge of the transition of a serious, long term relationship to the single life. i blogged about the raw experience around two months ago.
i wish i could type that it was a clean breakup, drama free, but that would be a lie.
recently i had to tell the man i was almost certain was my forever to "get out and stay out of my life."
this has taken a huge toll on me.
i never thought i would have had to tell him that, especially because i believed his words of "i still love you" a little over a month ago would result in him keeping everything peaceful, not telling people i was "manipulative" and having his best friend mock me repeatedly on social media.
personally i don't understand it, or him at the moment.
but what i don't understand the most is why i will still tell people that he is a good person...why i think that there is still good in him.
somewhere deep inside that apathetic yet angry shell of his, there is that gentle soul i fell in love with.
i believe that.
one day, he will find somebody who will make his shell crumble & he will love her with his whole being. he deserves that.
that being said, i deserve that as well.
that is why i had to ask him to stay out of my life. it wasn't good for either one of us.
despite it being the best for us, it is still hard sometimes.
it's hard knowing that i had to ask him of that.
• please know that you can miss somebody without wanting them back. that fact seems to be forgotten a lot.
• art... you yourself is art. your body, your love, your mind & soul... all of you is art.
i love that. it makes my soul happy knowing that. y'all may be wondering why the hell i am saying this, but i think everybody needs a reminder of that sometimes.
• fact: i am getting a tattoo of the word art under my left breast that extends to my side. close to my heart. it'll be tiny and in white ink...a part of me.
• no i don't care about your opinions about it, i love it.
• there's something amazing about difficult journeys...
you learn so much about yourself.
there's this quote that says "and she always had a way with her brokenness. she would take her pieces and make them beautiful."
the word he can be put in place of she. don't feel left out, boys.
take your pieces that were broken off of you during the tough times and make them beautiful.
find yourself, and create something even more incredible with those chipped off pieces.
even if you feel completely broken, it's okay.
because if you keep focusing on yourself, and not only bettering yourself, but also loving yourself, one day you won't hurt anymore. one day, you'll be happy. as wilson philips' once said "hold on for one more day".
• music can help soothe the shaken soul.
• do stuff that makes you feel.
only a few of you will completely understand that.
• stop focusing on the things you don't have.
• don't let love get old.
• don't stop fighting for what you love.
• know when you have to walk away.
• never apologize for your body shape.
• always always always love yourself.
• remember that intelligence will never go out of style.
• neither will a genuine smile.
• be in love with your life, every single minute of it.
& most importantly...
• don't be afraid of a little messiness.
