noun. a period of flowering
as I look out my window on this 180 minutes road trip, I am sad.
I don't know where exactly I went wrong.
I don't know the exact moment when I surrounded myself with sad, messy people...
but honestly, I don't remember a time where I didn't.
I have always appreciated messy people.
I like dark and twisty souls...the messy ones.
why?... because they have experienced life in a unique way. so unique that it is interesting.
of course, it is probably because I relate the most to them.
andrea torres, the sad girl with a black soul and heart of gold.
I'm very dark and twisty. I'm very messy. I'm very sad.
(this does not mean I do not smile. this does not mean I do not experience passion, love, happiness, bliss.)
but I try my ultimate best to spread positivity.
and when I care, I care immensely.
I love life, I really do.
I have a passion for feeling truly alive.
but sometimes it's hard for me.
that's where my heart of gold meets my black soul.
I used to fight it, ya know?
I used to try to be peppy and smile all the time.
but it got exhausting.
what I found out was: fighting who you are is excruciating painful.
this does not mean not to try to be the best person you can possibly be.
in fact, I encourage that.
I encourage watering your soul's seeds, and letting yourself blossom and bloom into beautiful colors.
please, darling, do that.
always bloom.
but just keep in mind, even the most beautiful flowers are planted in the darkest soils.
I guess what I'm trying to say is,
always find the sunshine in your darkness.
but be patient.
you can be a mess.
you can be dark and twisty.
and despite all that, you can still bloom.
and if you're not an anxious mess like me,
and if your soul is bright and joyful and happy and vibrant,
you can still shine and bloom too.
all flowers are beautiful.
all flowers matter.
don't compare your sunflower to his/her rose or peony or daisy.
and vise versa.
you are you.
you are important.
you are beautiful.
keep watering your seeds, darling.
keep watering your soul with the purest waters and love.
