anger.

anger.
noun. a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility.

"she's angry, she's always angry. it's the only way she can feel sad and strong at the same time."

i've been sitting down staring at this screen with my cold eyes for so damn long...
there are so many lines of words stringing along my brain, creating a tangled mess.

it's like i'm so angry, so hurt, such a mess, that words don't flow as smoothly.

and it is so hard for me to accept that...
to accept that i have all this anger within my soul because of a broken heart, an abundance of sadness.

and it's even more upsetting that those feelings are messing with my ability to write.

i hate being angry.
but it's the only way that i can feel strong. 

i know those who care want me to be happy, i know that he wants me to be happy and he's probably cussing at me in spanish up in heaven to put a damn smile on my face. 

but it's just one more thing that would suck the energy out of me--trying to be happy.

i never want people to look at me and say that i am broken or depressed or looking for attention.

because i'm not defined by broken or depressed. and i sure as hell am not looking for attention.

people go through anger and sadness every day... and it does not define them. it is not an inconvenience to the outside world, it is their own inconvenience and their own fight.

nothing sucks more than waking up sad. nothing sucks more than hating yourself. nobody deserves that. 

that is why i decided to make psithurism. a brand, a shirt, a tangible item. 
everybody can touch it, everybody deserves it.

the constant fight, the constant decision to love yourself every day is the most crucial fight of them all.

self love is a movement.
self love does deserve to be spread. 

because even with anger, sadness, depression, anxiety, happiness, or even other people loving you, it is YOU who has to make that decision every day. 

nobody else.

even when you're the angry, depressing, sad, broken person you see in the mirror--you deserve self love. 

so let yourself feel sad. let yourself feel happy. let yourself feel whatever the fuck you're feeling...but always make that decision to love yourself. always let yourself feel that love.